The Mai Tai, History, A Recipe, A How To, An Explanation and Technique followed with a Shopping list

I must take a break from my generally offensive (to unfunny people) “10 Rules of Drinking like a Man series” to offer to new readers this treatise on Mai Tais.  You see I am In a Mai Tai competition next week, and on TV to explain it later today, and you see, I want explain more than the 3 minute TV spot can offer.

The Mai Tai is shrouded in mystery. The bad news is that you probably don’t like it.  But the good news is… you probably never had one!  Hooray!  Did you know the sugary pancreas exploder that you had that one time in Cancun is not indicative of the true Mai Tai?  Good news, it wasn’t!  And there is a whole new world of Mai Tais waiting for you.  Because the Mai Tai story is so complex, because the Mai Tai recipe is so simple and because the Mai Tai technique is so high, I offer instead to Henry David Thoreau this (simplify, simplify).  After I (don’t) explain the Mai Tai’s history, all you need to know is there are:

• 4 Mai Tai Recipes
• 4 Mai Tai Fundamentals
• 4 Mai Tai Secret Ingredients

And, if this is your first time to my blog, you should probably know I’ll, “accidentally,” likely use some, “crass,” language,  like I might say, “four letter words,” even though, no part of the expression, “smelly pirate hooker,” for example , is a four letter word.

Mai Tai History

The way you should know the Mai Tai was invented by Trader Vic in 1944 and it was awesome. The way you would like the Mai Tai more was adapted in 1954 by the Royal Hawaiian Hotel.  Both of these were likely a combination of stolen/inspired drink called the QB Cooler invented by Don the Beachcomber in 1937.  But the Mai Tai you know is likely mostly interpreted by bartenders following the R.A.L.T.P.M. recipe (I’ll explain later).

Which is right?  Which is best?  The answer is quite simple, the one you like the most is the most.  To explain further would involve me quoting – verbatim – Jeff Berry’s recent book along with old interviews from Trader Vic and Don Beach that most people don’t care to hear. But If you DO CARE FOR SPECIFICS, I very strongly suggest that you purchase, for money, from your local book store, both, Sippin Safari, and, Beach Bum Berry Remixed. Remixed, is mostly a recipe book for any tiki enthusiast, but, Sippin Safari, is a truly fascinating  account of the tiki craze that was arguably the most successful food and beverage trend of the last 100 years.  Sippin Safari, is well written in a way that anyone can enjoy and be transfixed, and it has pretty pictures and brevity that makeit perfect for plane travel.  Jeff Berry is the guy you should ask about the Mai Tai’s history.  Buy his books,  and read his blog. That’s all you’ll need to know history-wise, except that, Mai Tai, is Tahitian for, “The best, out of this world.”

Mai Tai Recipes

QB Cooler -1937-

The "Quiet Birdman" Cooler The QB Cooler, tastes very much like a boozy Vic's

There are 4 Mai Tai Recipes, and the first is not a Mai Tai at all.  Depending on the history you choose to believe, Trader Vic’s Mai Tai was based on the flavor profile of Don Beach’s QB Cooler.  This begins the path of the Mai Tai being about flavor more than ingredients.  This drink is pretty good;  it’s just a bit sloppy. But blending it does help the sweetness get toned down.1 oz Orange Juice  .5 oz Lime Juice .5 oz Honey Mix .25 oz Falernum 1 oz Soda 1 oz Jamaican Rum 1 oz Puerto Rican Rum 2 Dashes Angosrura .25 oz Ginger Syrup 4oz Crushed Ice, Blend and Garnish with mint

Trader Vic’s Mai Tai -1944-

The Trader Vic Mai Tai is one of the best cocktails ever, origins be damned

It is said that Vic based this on the QB Cooler.  True or not, they do taste very similar despite sharing only one ingredient.  Vic won in history, but he also won in creating a simple drink full of balance.  When practicing this Mai Tai, spend a lot of time trying different brands of rum, this drink is for showcasing rum, not hiding rum.1 oz Dark Jamaican Rum  1 oz Martinique Rhum 1 oz Lime Juice .5 oz Orange Curacao .25 oz Simple Syrup .25 oz Orgeat Shake with crushed ice, pour into a double old fashioned, garnish with mint, also optional, pineapple wedge and dark rum float

Royal Hawaiian Mai Tai -1953-

The Royal Hawiian Mai Tai, this is a resort drink, but if fresh is aplied, it is good

Though this is the Mai Tai that lead us down the dreadful path of the over sugared tiki drink, if fresh juice is used, fear not the deadly sweet pancreatic explosion.  Instead you will be refreshed, and full of vitamin C.1 oz Dark Jamaican Rum  1 oz Demerara Rum 1 oz Light Puerto Rican Rum 1 oz Orange Juice 1 oz Pineapple Juice .5 oz Lime Juice .25 oz Lemon Juice .25 oz Orange Curacao .25 Orgeat .25 Simple Syrup Shake and strain with crushed ice, dump into a huge glass, garnish with excess

R.A.L.T.P.M. Mai Tai –unfortunately common-

I have made this, and when in a "Pan Asian" restaurant, I may order one for old time's sake.

Then our craft (bartending) died and though it has had a renaissance thanks to tireless nerdful efforts, it is still weak in influence over all bars.  Maybe things are better that way.  Anyway, when I first learned the Mai Tai, in a bar that didn’t smell great, I was taught the mnemonic device, “run after leggy tall pretty models.”  And though that is just as hard to remember as it would be to, oh I don’t know, OPEN A FUCKING BOOK AND LEARN HOW TO DO YOUR JOB RIGHT, it has always stuck with me.  It has mostly stuck with me in the way that one might have the sentiment, “remember when we were kids.”Run= Rum, whatever you got, caramel colored Monarch works  After = Amaretto, tastes of almonds, even better if you have neon red crème de noyaux, some bartenders add a dash of grenadine to simulate this Leggy= Lime, if you only have Rose’s Cordial, you can skip it, don’t muddle fruit, this is a low effort drink Tall= Triple sec, an orange liqueur, don’t use Cointreau, your boss will get mad Pretty= Pineapple, for this drink, the can is fine Models = Myers, the only aged rum in the bar Some Rum, Less Amaretto, A Squeeze of Lime, Triple Sec (half as much as rum), Pineapple (half a can, ‘cause you might need to make another one), Myers (you better make that bottle last for years) Build over ice, garnish with a cancer colored cherry.

Mai Tai Fundamentals

The secret to making any of these Mai Tai’s is, even the slapdash one at the end,  that there is as much in technique as remembering that long list of ingredients.  The 4 fundamentals are 1. Technique 2. Flavor 3. Fresh and 4. Aromatics.  Across any of those Mai Tais, this is how you make them better.

1. Technique: For technique the biggest things to consider on the Mai Tai is the crushed ice and the viscosity of the ingredients.  Most importantly, the ingredients of the Mai Tai are far too thick to mix just by pouring over ice, they need to be shaken every time.  Otherwise the drinker will just, “not,” enjoy one unmixed layer after another and likely quit when they arrive at the layer of straight lime juice.  I recommend shaking the ice over cubed ice and then straining it over crushed ice.  Room temperature ingredients also do bad things when poured over crushed ice.  As for retaining the crushed ice you shake with, sigh, I hate that, but it is OK at the BBQ, get it?

Mai Tai Technique: Always shake, strain over fresh ice

2. Flavor: Though lime juice is the only ingredient that all of the above 4 Mai Tais share, there are common flavor profiles.  When made correctly, people swear that Trader Vic’s Mai Tai is full of juice.  But what about the rum?  They all specify rums that taste very different, Demerara rum tastes nothing of 20 year old Jamaican and that tastes nothing of some light well rum.  Think of the flavor components-almond, spices, citrus and fresh.  The Mai Tai should taste like an exotic fruit that was just picked from a tree more that any one ingredient in it.  And you can trick the taster if you work with something spicy, something tart and something almond-ish.  Some say the tiki template is“1 sour, 2 sweet, 3 strong, 4 weak + spice.” –thanks Craig Herman. -see comments

3. Fresh: You can make a drink with poor sloppy technique and it will still be OK if you keep it fresh.  But if you tighten up that technique and keep it fresh, therein lies greatness.  But when thinking of fresh, understand how far it really goes.  Ice, how long has it been out of the freezer?  How long has the crushed ice been sitting around melting faster?  Lime juice, is it from a bottle, or from A LIME? Orgeat, if you made your own, it is OK in the fridge for a month or 3, but it won’t be very good after a week.  Even pineapple juice, when painfully fresh squeezed will taste like an elixir for long life.  Don’t buy good rum and mix it with canned juice and bad ice and wonder why your Mai Tai doesn’t pop.

4. Aromatics: The Mai Tai is a thick drink and as such doesn’t have a lot of aroma.  This is the job of the garnishes.  There are three common garnishes for the Mai Tai and boat loads of others less common.  Mint:  mint should be big, bushy and bright, when given a light tap or, “shocked,” it should release a huge aroma.  Put the sprig right next to the straws.  Pineapple:  when fresh and ripe the pineapple wedge smells of melon and citrus, it confuses the palate when added to the Trader Vic’s Mai Tai.  Dark Rum Float:  though not part of the original, it is a common addition, it adds hints of spice and vanilla to the drink that will float at 80 proof above the drink the whole way down.

Mai Tai Secret Ingredients

The Mai Tais above have several ingredients that you may be unaware of.  1, 2 and 3 most people don’t know are Orgeat, Falernum and Orange Curacao.  The fourth secret ingredient is rum, most people think they know rum, but they don’t.

 

Trader Tiki Syrups, tell 'em Andrew sent you

Orgeat: An  almond based liqueur or syrup flavored with orange flower water and lots of sugar.I can recommend 2, Fee Bros, which despite and to spite my peers I enjoy and Trader Tiki. These are very different but I enjoy both because of their no alcohol content; they are great for mocktails.  Both can be found locally at Delaurenti’s in Pike Market, online at Keg Works or even better a fun and simple project to make your own.  Check out this recipe on Art of Drink.

It is OK, and can live outside of the fridge

Falernum: A spiced lime liqueur, popular in the Caribbean and a classic tiki staple.  It is flavored with almond, citrus, cloves and sugar.  This time I can’t really recommend Fee Bros (even though he gave me a ride to the airport that one time) but I will recommend John D. Taylor’s Velvet Falernum and if you want to spice it up, try Paul Clarke’s no. 8 Falernum, it is what I make and love.  All praise be to the Cocktail Chronicle.

Orange Curacao: Specifically is a liqueur flavored with dried laraha citrus peels from curacao.  Like many fancy boozes, we can’t really get a good one in Washington, seek them out on the net, but use Grand Marnier in the meantime.  Even though the bottle looks like a grandma, it is still quality.

I love this book, even a teatotaler would be entertained

Rum: There are 2 main types of Rum, Rum Industrial and Rhum Agricole.  Cachaca is neither but is close to Agricole.  Nix Cachaca for now.  Rum Industrial is made from the byproduct of refining sugar, and thusly is generally has more of a caramel flavor and tastes of molasses.  Rhum Agricole is a French method of making rum that is from fresh pressed sugar cane.  It will have a fresher, green, grassy flavor, be lighter in flavor and body and be more delicate.  Then to top off those two main schools, every little island and nation that makes rum has a wide variety of styles and techniques to make their rum special.  To not list those here, please take it on my word that rum is considered the broadest spirit category and can take a long, slow, happy, flip flop clad life to understand them all.  Good luck.  But I would also recommend this book by Wayne Curtis called, And a Bottle of Rum.

Mai Tai Competition

Did you know that I am in a Mai Tai competition and that you should VOTE FOR ME.  But what?  You have integrity?  You want to know why?  You want to try my drink first?  Then come down To Mistral Kitchen for Happy Hour on Tuesday the 14th and I will sell you a drink for money.  It would be easier to take my word for it.  But let me explain my drink as well.  When I heard there would be a Mai Tai Madness Competition, my first thought was, “nobody knows what is in a Mai Tai anyway.”  It was with that sentiment, and my generally contrarian nature, that I contrived to do what Vic may have done to the QB Cooler: take the flavor and make it my own.  So I set out to make a Mai Tai that tastes like a Mai Tai that contains no rum.  I planned on doing this by only using Italian liqueurs, many of which are bitter.  I call it Elena’s Virtue, and it is indeed a lightly bitter, herbal, Italian Mai Tai.

Elena's Virtue, a Mai Tai variation with no rum

Elena’s Virtue

1 oz Amaro Nonino

.5 oz Amaro Montenegro

.5 oz Lime

.25 Tuaca

.25 Luxardo Amaretto

Shake ingredients  and strain over crushed ice, garnish with an orange zest and basil, then pour

.25 oz Ramazotti Amaro into a decanter, fill with hickory smoke and pour over the drink

If this impresses you, (and on an intellectual level it should) come on down and try one in person at Mistral Kitchen.  Cheers, thanks for making it through the lecture.

Down there by the train: MixMo Tom Waits

Down there by the train

I’ve lived in magnolia, a lame island neighborhood in Seattle for 2 years. Thus, I have done the super sketchy late night bike ride through the train tracks a few hundred times. Tom Waits, is frequently on the ipod for this ride, and the late night special cut that comes up a lot on this ride is: “Down there by the train.”  The song was made famous by Johny Cash, or like “downtown train,” made famous by Rod Stewart, and also written by Tom Waits, or like “Long way home, “ made famous by Scarlet Johanson but again another song about trains by Tom Waits.

The hobo's taxi

There’s a place I know where the train goes slow
Where the sinner can be washed in the blood of the lamb
There’s a river by the trestle down by sinner’s grove
Down where the willow and the dogwood grow

It is fairly obvious that this is a song about death.  More specifically, it compares a hitching yard/train station to the river stix.  In a less dramatic way, for me it is just a song about being done, and being tired,needing relief and forgiveness.  Cocktails are liquid forgiveness.  And as  I have remarked before, when listening to Tom Waits on my ride home, I wasn’t sure if a train was behind me.

this is down there by the train

You can hear the whistle, you can hear the bell
From the halls of heaven to the gates of hell
And there’s room for the forsaken if you’re there on time
You’ll be washed of all your sins and all of your crimes

This is a song about people that didn’t make good decisions, and at the end of what seems to be a thankless shift, on a cold dark night, riding through the tracks, one might want to think that things can be better than what happened.  I wanted to create a drink that shows a well thought out cocktail, made of simple honest ingredients, basic but new.

There’s a golden moon that shines up through the mist
And I know that your name can be on that list
There’s no eye for an eye, there’s no tooth for a tooth
I saw Judas Iscariot carrying John Wilkes Booth
He was down there by the train

I love porter, bourbon and Tuaca.  I decided to take these 3 leftovers that and use them as ingredients like pub owners did to make the original porter, that is to say, take the leftover sour/stale beer, mix it with something fresh and something mild.  It was called the “entire butt” meaning that the finished what was left.  It was the drink of the porters, who couldn’t afford better.  But my porter is getting Blanton’s.  I stir an ounce and half of porter with an ounce and a half of bourbon, a whisper of Tuaca for sweetness and then I smoke the cocktail in a carafe with hickory to remind me of the steam a hear and see on my ride.

 

Down there by the train cocktail

1.5 oz porter

1.5 oz bourbon

.25 oz Tuaca

stir and strain over smoke, dump that into a bucket

If you’ve lost all your hope, if you’ve lost all your faith
I know you can be cared for and I know you can be safe
And all the shamefuls and all of the whores
And even the soldier who pierced the side of the Lord

This drink suits the feeling of this sound, it validates leftovers.  It works like the  day after thanksgiving cranberry sauce sandwiches.  It ain’t high brow, or easily understood, or common, just like Waits and this song, but the combination is just as mysterious and beautiful as being confused by a junkyard ballad.

Well, I’ve never asked forgiveness and I’ve never said a prayer
Never given of myself, never truly cared
I’ve left the ones who loved me and I’m still raising Cain
I’ve taken the low road and if you’ve done the same
Meet me down there by the train

I think this is as far as a beer and a shot can go.

but here it what everyone else did, all things awesome:

Mike McSorley : Tommy the Cat, Tom Waits talking crazy on the Primus song from “Sailing the Seas of Cheese.”

http://mcsology.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/mxmo-49-tom-waits-tommy-the-cat/

The lesson, without moonshine, sabering champagne bottles and coupe towers, you are missing out on life's finer points

From the London Cocktail Guide:  Grapefruit Moon, from Tom Waits’ “Closing Time,”  a song to fall in love to if you are young enough to do so

http://londoncocktailguide.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/grapefruit-moon/

A tobbaco infused variation on the classic blinker.- A sentence I would have on my tombstone, regarding my life

From Cocktail Virgin, Slut:  A great mocktail inspired by Tom Waits’ life on the darkside, and coming around to be sober.

http://cocktailvirgin.blogspot.com/2010/05/tea-julep.html

People that don't drink matter too, and are worthy of such great consideration

A Dash of Bitters:  Admits procrastinating

http://www.adashofbitters.com/2010/05/21/mxmo-up-shit-creek-again/

AJ Rathbun:  Most of Tom Waits’ “Rain Dogs” in a glass, and like an episode of Futurama, you don’t know which part is a quote from elsewhere and which part is script

http://www.ajrathbun.com/blog/2010/05/mxmo-tom-waits-the-hounds-they-start-to-roar/

Showing off his Waits collection behind his whiskey bottles, you know what they say "behind every bottle of whiskey is a good Tom Waits record."

Devin Hahn: A mule Variations inspired drink with a nail swizzle stick.

http://www.devinhahnfilms.com/get-behind-the-mule.html

gonna stir my brandy with a nail boy

Ganymeda: a scotch chronology, a scotch-ology of Tom Waits progression

http://ganymeda.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/the-line-is-a-little-blurry-here/

My life in cocktails:  What do you drink on taco tuesday?

Sincerity by the pitcher

Paul Clarke: seems that Paul, like me, has had to host solo cocktail parties based on a bachelor’s fridge, Grapefruit Moon

http://www.cocktailchronicles.com/2010/05/24/grapefruit-moon/

I want to see a trend of boiler maker inspired cocktails, or at least freezing beer into ice cubes for mixing

From the Fogged in Lounge:  The grinding of the buzzsaw, what you want that thing to say? well uh, don’t misspell her name, she is “The One That Got Away.”  Funny thing is, I missed this one, the other funny bit is it I always tell people, “oh that drink, I just made it up for the one that got away.”

http://foggedinlounge.blogspot.com/2010/05/mxmo-xlix-tom-waits.html

Vodka espresso? Pedestrian. Espresso, gin, absinthe and galiano? Inspired. A hard boiled drink of mystery, intrigue and there is probably a good bit about sex in there too .

I think my blog gets too much spam, I just found 3 more posts:

Urbane, not Cosmopolitan:  Frank’s Wild Years.  I got tattooed by a woman named Samantha listening to this record, she pulled a cog off of her bike to trace for it.

http://urbanenotcosmopolitan.blogspot.com/2010/05/trying-to-sneak-in-under-wire.html

I will make this shot for my enemies and friends, to decifer which is which. I only I had enough knuckles to tattoo "orgeat" on one hand and "fernet n' rye" on the other.

Felicia’s Speakeasy:  growler stories

http://feliciaspeakeasy.blogspot.com/2010/05/tom-waits-boones-farm-and-taxis.html

Every story and aside I've mentioned so far is completely true, and so I know that every word of this one must be real, so real that it might have happened more than once.

Marginalia Walker:  2 cocktails named for songs, Gun Street Girl and Tango til They’re Sore

A song that sounds old a dusty best played on a rainy night, a coktail that is a kick in the teeth that you'll ask for again

http://marginaliawalker.blogspot.com/2010/05/tom-waits-mxmo.html

thanks everybody, some of these comments ended up in spam, i subscibe to too many erectile disfunction website, if youy post didn’t make it, send me an email