10 Rules Of Drinking Like A Man.
Men, It isn’t your fault no one taught you what to drink. We are going to fix that now.
Ladies, If you see a man break any of these rules you can be assured he is egotistical, close minded, weak, lacks creativity and thusly a bad fuck.
After reading this you might find that cocktail menus and the general consensus of sane (not blogging) people says otherwise. You might say, “Hey Andrew, this doesn’t seem to be how things work, ” you will think that because it isn’t how things work. Well, it isn’t how they work anymore. But I pose to you, evaluate the man who has placed a menu in front of you offering up an, “X-TREME MANGO MOJITO,” do you really trust him with with high quality and impeccable taste? The world of drinks, drinking and bars fit nicely into 2 small compartments: ” T.G.I. Mc Flingers in a strip mall,” or, “Don Draper,” where do you stand?
Here are my 10 rules. They start off negative and then I teach, because I need to break you down before I build you up. Lastly, this is a lot of information, so I’ll let us do them one at a time. But, this is what you have to look forward to:
Rule 1: No Vodka
Rule 2: No “Tinis”
Rule 3: No Light Beer, unless…
Rule 4: Jack Daniel’s Is For Pussies
Rule 5: Order The Right Drink In The Right Bar At The Right Time
Rule 6: Cash, the Etiquette of Dollars
Rule 7: Own Your Drink and the Glass It Is In
Rule 8: Order Champagne, Often
Rule 9: Own a Flask And Good Home Barware
Rule 10: Know Your Limits