A Vote for my Blog is a Vote for Irony!
My blog was recently nominated for Saveur Magazine’s Best Cocktail Blog 2011 award thing. This is a huge honor, because up until now, I pretended that the other people nominated were my peers, and then Saveur went and brought them down to my level. You should log on to their website and cast vote for me because (I’m going to run this like a political campaign) the Caskstrength platform stands for the following:
- Expletives not deleted!
- A free glass of water for all!
- Long explanations of tequila for all!
- Sugar rimmed glasses for none!
- More participation in Mix Mo!
- New and improved editing system!
- Free flask with every vote!
The “other guys” stand for awful stuff like:
Until Camper secretly videotaped me for his blog, nobody knew how fucking much I say the word fuck all the fucking time. These videos also scared the fucking shit out of my mom; whom I had believing the reasonable story that I have been earning my living as a librarian.
I got lost reading this blog and woke up from an info-trance that lasted 6 months (that is why I took some time off, I was just reading this blog). There is so much information here. Cocktailians has a 2,000-word interview with a squirrel that used to sit near the statue of Booker Noe at the Jim Beam distillery. They have way too much content I can’t even link to one post so check out this nerd, that thing or the other one.
Bobby is manufacturing weapons. Bobby is putting mustard in cocktails. I think he is secretly reenacting World War I battles. In other un-American activities, he hosts a classy, “for the love of tequila,” Cinco de Mayo party at Anvil. And here I thought this was supposed to be an American holiday about indulgence and public urination, and not some Mexican holiday honoring General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín’s triumph over the sissy troops of General Lorencez.
Patron: “This ginger beer is great!”
Patron: “What’s that, I couldn’t quite hear you?”
Me: “IT’S THE FUCKING RECIPE FOR GINGER BEER ON JEFFREY MORGENTHALER.COM OK? QUIT TALKING ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME.”
Dude, I can’t make fun of you, you garnish like Frank Lloyd Wright and you invented the Fernet Old Fashioned, ONE MILLION HIGH FIVES. But yes, as you said in that post, it is the best drink you ever created, better hang up them gloves.
Look, I’m not exactly the, “Mickey Mouse,” write in on this ballot but, well, perhaps I am. I want to be a cocktail writer but I’m often more of a lifestyle ranter. I’m not going to blog about PDT’s new menu, it’s awesome. I’m not going review the new Crown Royal expression, it sucks. I’m not going to even give you my own genius original cocktail recipes because my mom dropped me on my head. But, what I promise to do with your vote is to continue to structure interesting tirades on improving cocktail culture, bartenders, and holding a knife to the throat of mediocrity.