The Cocktail Advent Calendar-December 4th: Spanish MOTHER FUCKING Coffee

Because of today’s Cocktail Advent Calendar, let December 4th forever be known as the Day of International Spanish Coffee. DISC = December 4th.  I’m not a stupid bartender, I know that it is a total rookie move to prepare just *one* Spanish Coffee, make *one* and you’ll be making them all night.  To admit you can make *one* is a commitment to keep going until you run out of coffee.  One time this ass-face said, “Can’t you go out and get more coffee?”

I squinted at that fucker with my best Eastwood, and after I let my pupils sear his flesh for a second, I said,

No.

But not today. Today, it’s Spanish Coffee Amnesty Day — all day. Hooray! The drink that is an under-appreciated pain in the ass will have its day of glory.  Anu and Zach, with ear to ear smiles, shall craft you one of the most labor intensive, on fire, smoothing and luxurious cocktails one could ever hope to quaff.  Rather than explain this cocktail, I would like to explain what will be special about ours.

  • Stumptown Hairbender Coffee – Great fresh roasted coffee beans brewed to perfection.
  • Fresh Whipped Cream – Much like chicken soup, with whipped cream, you can’t get love from a can.
  • Lemon Hart 151 RumEd Hamilton might be proud, or angry, but no bullshit lighter fluid rum to toast our Spanish Coffee, only the finest demerara put to great use.
  • FIRE! – Like Homer (Simpson, not the guy who wrote the Odyssey) said, “Fire makes it good.”
  • Fresh Ground Spices – Not from the 128 spice rack we got on sale at Target.
  • Caramel Rim – We’re not afraid of spending all day cleaning glassware, we’re going to give you a honest to goodness ring of sugar fused to the glass using the Maillard reaction.

Shooting over to Ed’s site reminded me of the 7 daily toasts the British Royal Navy.  They are a hit or miss blend of misogynistic what nots, but Sunday’s is good.  It’s a toast to “Absent Friends.”  A solid toast for gathering with your friends over a Spanish Coffee or two. But only if you really need two, have a cellar-temp Porter, or finish up your crossword puzzle while you wait.

If i was going to drink a dessert today, it would look like this.

Spanish Coffee

  • .5oz Lemon Hart 151 lit aflame inside
  • 1 sugar rimmed glass
  • A few sparkly sprinkles of cinnamon
  • .5oz Kahlua
  • .25 oz Cointreau
  • Top with Fresh Whipping Cream, (because it’s better)
  • Garnish with Nutmeg and an Oranger Zest
Here is a good toast for absent friends:

“to absent friends
to those we have met
to those we have yet to meet
to those who have left us for a while
and to those who have left us forever

let us lift our glasses 
and drink a toast 
that they may abide in our hearts 
forever

to absent friends”

This entry was posted in Classic Cocktails, Cocktail Advent Calendar, Cocktails, cocktails on fire, demerara rum, Holiday Drinks, Hot Drinks, nutmeg, recipes, rum, rum history, spanish coffee, Warm Drinks, whipped cream. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Cocktail Advent Calendar-December 4th: Spanish MOTHER FUCKING Coffee

  1. This has to be the first cocktail blog post I’ve read that makes reference to the Maillard Reaction. You’ve made this food scientist’s day. Thanks! I look forward to trying the Spanish Coffee tonight.

  2. lori says:

    How much coffee goes in this drink? love stumptown.

  3. serious says:

    This sounds delicious, but isn’t there Spanish brandy in a Spanish coffee?

  4. Mr. Spooky says:

    What you’re doing with the heated sugar rim here is not the Maillard Reaction but is in fact caramelization. Caramelization is an entirely different process from Maillard browning, though the results of the two processes are sometimes similar to the naked eye (and tastebuds). Caramelization may sometimes cause browning in the same foods in which the Maillard reaction occurs, but the two processes are distinct. They both are promoted by heating, but the Maillard reaction involves amino acids, whereas caramelization is simply the pyrolysis of certain sugars.

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