The New Cocktail Vernacular Mexi-Wrap-Up-Rant
So there were a few new words you, as an avid and constant drinker, should know. But don’t let Mezcal, Pechuga or Raicilla fall victim to what happened to tequila in the 90s. That is to say, don’t let them get so bogged down in minutia & mediocrity that they don’t matter anymore. One of the ways to prevent this is with the stories we tell.
Some worthless piece of shit recently asked me “how long is the fermentation process on that specific tequila?” I bullshitted my was out by explaining that most agave naturally ferments for 7 to 14 days but what I wanted to say was:
FFFFUUUUUUHHHHHHHCCCCCKKKKKKK YOU.
When I write in this blog, I write to give you basic information. People writing encyclopedias need information like that, it’s relevant, but only to 1 out of 100 people. If you are into quantification, I applaud your brain and there will be more computers for you to talk with everyday. However, the only stories worth telling about a bottle are anecdotes to sell, briefly explain said bottle or tales of what happened after drinking said bottle.
WHAT A GREAT STORY!
For a while, tequila (and wine) was really proud of listing brix levels. This does not matter to the end consumer, brix are correlative to flavor and is something that farm hands are concerned about.
If the most interesting thing, about your tequila (or wine) is its brix level, then you have already failed.
As soon as someone mentions a tequila’s (or wine’s) brix I then know “I’m going to judge the shit out this tequila (or wine) numerically and conquer it.”
Tell stories, not numbers.
This: “If the most interesting thing, about your tequila (or wine) is its brix level, then you have already failed.”