10 Rules of Drinking Like a Man Interlude

Either I became a much worse writer (very possible) or my blog sucks now that people read it, flip a coin.  These 10 rules are my regular tongue in cheek, typo ridden, and extemporaneous rants.  One word: catharsis.  Two purposes: catharsis and slight influence for the world to annoy me less by airing on the side of better taste (sorry I don’t lead by example).

"Does Kung Fu When He Want To, Has Sex When He Please"

I’ll allow every critique of this blog series, and I’ll respond to no more of them. Listen up you jive turkeys, I can lay down some science and make some boring shit into concrete building blocks of knowledge, but I’m not trying to talk that mess.  Maybe it is just that as I write this I’m watching, “Black Dynamite,” an homage to 70’s blacksplotation, or maybe I’m not caring what people say.  Or more likely, I’m trying to take people a step further and provoke a bit of independent thought.

But really, I can tell you now, I ain’t the best at charts and shit.  On my way home I saw a one-legged homeless guy picking up cig butts in the crosswalk: I’m closer to the bottom than you.  I’m talking about the base basics and the bottom up.  And I can tell you, yes I can be more specific, but I’m being abridged, entertaining and pushing buttons.

I am not good

And on top of that, Fuck Jack Daniel’s.  They can handle me telling them to fuck off.  Know what?  Fuck Woodford Reserve too, shitty over priced banana tasting bourbon.  And you know what else?  The CEO of Brown Forman can cry himself to sleep on A GIANT PILE OF MONEY BECAUSE MY OPINION DOESN’T MATTER.   I know I didn’t hurt his feelings.  Make up your own mind, that is what this series is about.

I suck too

Another reason I hate my peers right now: they are too serious.  Q: Know what the difference between Midori and St Germain is? A: 30 years on the market.  I’m not afraid to say it.  Smart people know they need to build something that will last forever; something that .0000001% can achieve.  They need to do that or, get theirs and get out.  And with that sentiment, I’ll ask that you keep reading my blog and annoying me with critiques of, typos, generalities and of late my intense misogyny.  But please, keep my daily hits up and please buy my book after it gets through a 10-year editorial process (because I can’t figure out how to use spellcheck).

I may be full of shit, but you should still buy this book

If any one is still reading, thanks for keeping it mellow.

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10 Responses to 10 Rules of Drinking Like a Man Interlude

  1. Lisa says:

    Oh Lord…

    Can I get a signed copy?

  2. Paul says:

    My co-worker thought I was choking because I was holding back my laughter in my cube.

    • Jake B. says:

      You’ve never been a good speller so why start now. It makes your rants more organic; whatever the hell that means

  3. Sierra says:

    Were there 10 rules in that? I love the Midori/St. Germain comment. So true.

  4. Nathan says:

    Yes, is there a signed copy of your book on offer?

    • caskstrength says:

      That is not my book, rather just me posing like I wrote someone else’s book. Ted Munat wrote that book, but you should still buy 2 of them.

  5. Alicia says:

    I’ll help with the spellcheck — I fix typos like you fix cocktails. :)

  6. rafe says:

    ef. this is series is awesome. it certainly competes with paul’s 30 in 30 series. very very well done, sir.

    and that st. germain vs. midori comment was perfect. just perfect.

  7. Robert says:

    I am VERY late to comment on this, but I just came across it… and since you are open to comments about spelling: Irish whiskey is spelled w-h-i-s-k-e-y. With the “e.” It was the original whiskey upon which American whiskey was based… that is why they are spelled the same way. Scotch whisky was a later addition, and it was initially the cheaper imitation. As such, it was spelled differently in order to avoid confusion/legal problems. During the heights of their success, Ireland’s distilleries upped their output in order to deal with the demand from America. Unfortunately, they were unable to stay out of debt during America’s prohibition, so most of them closed their doors. Once prohibition was lifted, Scotland’s distilleries upped their output in order to fill the American demand. In doing so, Scotch whisky (and the spelling associated with it) became the new global standard. Since Japan’s entry into whisky distilling is relatively recent, their whiskies are generally based on Scotch, so naturally, they also share a common spelling.

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